Anong "ULAM" Mo?

 1. Ulam sa Labas Ulam sa Loob

               Tanong : Anong "Ulam sa labas ulam sa loob"?

                Headline : "Panalo ka diyan ! Panalo ka tiyan ! "

                Sagot :  "ULAM BURGER ! :) "

2. Ulam na Luto Ulam na Di Luto

                Tanong : Anong "Ulam na Luto na Di Luto"?

                Headline : "Easy-open ka ! "

               Sagot   : "ULAM TUNA SARDINES ! :) "

3. Ulam na Pinakulo Ulam Na Nakulo

               Tanong : Anong "Ulam na pinakulo ulam na nakulo"?

               Headline : "Sinot higop ka ! "

               Sagot :  "ULAM MAMI KASEROL CUP ! :) "

4. Ulam na Ginisa Ulam na Di Ginisa

               Tanong : Anong "Ulam na ginisa ulam na di ginisa"?

               Headline : "Para kang buklat-sarang karinderia !"

              Sagot : "ULAM MENUS PACK ! :) "

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Duqilai Joke : Ikaw Ang “Tanong” (You Are The “Question”)

Kapag meron tayong minamahal or in English if we have someone we love, ang sabi natin ikaw ang “Sagot”,we say you are the “Answer”. But what if he or she is not the “Answer” we look for or Pero kung o ano kung o paano kung hindi pala siya ang “Sagot” na hinahanap natin?

A.     Kapag siya ang “Sagot”/ If he or she is the “Answer”

1.      “Ikaw ‘sagot’ sa mga panalangin ko”/”You are the ‘answer’ to my prayers”

2.      “Nagpapasalamat ako nakilala kita”/”I am thankful I met you”

3.      “Bigay ka ng Diyos sa akin”/”God gave me you”

4.      “Ikaw ang hinihintay ko”/ “You are the one I have been waiting for”

Etc.etc.

B.     Kapag siya ang “Tanong”/If she or he is the “Question”

1.      “Bakit pa kita nakilala?!”/”Why do I met you?!”

2.      “Bakit inibig pa kita?!”/”Why do I love you?!”

3.      “Bakit pa kita pinakasalan?!”/”Why do I marry you?!”

4.      “Sugo ka ni satanas!” /”You are the minion of satan!”

5.      “Animal ka tarantado ka!” /”You shit!”

Etc.etc.

Ikaw ang “Tanong” or You are the “Question” rather than ‘Sagot” or “Answer” because you utter many “Questions” just examples above or in Tagalog lumalabas sa bibig mo ay mga “Tanong”.

I hope you get the “JOKE”..  😊

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Duqilai Joke : "Diyos” Up!

The following I will share to you is just a mere “Joke” and has no intention to insult or hurt others. I just got it or knew it from other people.

Thirsty? Want drinks aside from “Water”? – Take the “Diyos” you like ! – “Diyos” Up!

“Diyos” here means  = “Juice”. It is the pronunciation of the word “Juice” that become like the word “Diyos”.

1.    Orange “Diyos” ( orange juice)

2.     Pineapple “Diyos” ( pineapple juice)

3.     Buko “Diyos” ( buko juice)

4.     Lemon “Diyos” ( lemon juice)

5.     Apple “Diyos” ( apple juice)

Want drinks aside from “Water”? – Take your favorite “Diyos” ( Juice) !

“Diyos” Up! ( “Juice” Up!)

 

Image from  Fruit Juice website

iamge from Food Buiness News website

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Joke Joke Time

Joke Joke Time :)

1. Call A Doctor Quick !

Luisito : Pedro,Pedro please call a doctor immediately; i am dying.

Pedro : But you are a doctor !

2. Milk Lotion

Honey Husband: Honey,how come there is no visible improvement in your skin after i bought you a milk lotion?

Honey Wife : I don't know honey why :( I regularly drink it everyday.

The underline phrase,that is the joke.Honey wife is stupid,she thought what her husband bought her is a "milk" that is being drink and not a "milk" that is applied on the skin.

How come she is still alive (ahahaha) after drinking a milk lotion;anyway it is just a joke.

3. Birthday Year

Luisito:  Brother Pedro,when is your birthday?

Pedro : November 18 brother

Luisito: ahh..so what year?

Pedro : Of course,it is yearly and not of course sometimes only,is not?Don't be slow.

Underline words is the joke - "Don't be slow".Luisito is asking what year Pedro was born but Pedro is "slow" in thinking to pick up;he reply yearly and accuse Luisito to be one instead slow or slow in thinking instead.

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Lavinia's Solution

Nice Lavinia....

English Translation

Lavinia : It is just the weather is cold you already need and look for a boyfriend?.....Why don't you try to eat "Lugaw"(rice soup) with egg..

EGG = Men's Penis

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Illiterate Father And Son (Magtatang Na Bobo)

Highlights : Is illiteracy inherited?

Duqilai Dictionary:  Illiteracy - the state or condition to be illiterate or lacking capability,ability and knowledge and skills and intelligence.

source : from Maria Sinukuan (MS) comic Opisyal na pahayagan ng Pamahalaang Bayan ng Arayat) No.35 Monday- Friday March 31- April 4,2014 page 8

Ing "F" ng Juan by Black Swan

Tatang : Oh Juan nanu ya ining "F" keng card mu?
(Father) : (Oh Juan,what is this "F" in your card?(school grade card)

The son was shock and nervous that his father saw his (school card) card with "F" or has "F"and perceived that his father is sure fire angry because of the "F" he received on his (school/grade card) card which mean "Failed!" Thus,he make excuse instead.

Anak : Ahh..tatang FASADO ing buri ng sabian yan...
(Son) : (Ahh..Father that means FASADO)

* FASADO means Not failed but PASS ; from tagalog word PASADO

Tatang : Ahh..balaku sa FERPECT...
(Father) : ( I thought FERPECT..)

*FERPECT  means PERFECT...

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Comic Jokes From "Tuldok"

"Tuldok" is a comic writer from Philippine Daily Inquirer newspaper from "Comic Relief" section.

1. Sex Joke : Topic : is about sex orgasm if someone has still.

2. White Skin Joke : Topic : about have a white flawless skin.

Approved ! - Nakakatuwa ! :)

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